this has always meant something to me

To let go does not mean to stop caring,
it means I can't do it for someone else.

To let go is not to cut myself off,
it's the realization I can't control another.

To let go is not to enable,
but allow learning from natural consequences.

To let go is to admit powerlessness, which means
the outcome is not in my hands.

To let go is not to try to change or blame another
it's to make the most of myself.

To let go is not to care for,
but to care about.

To let go is not to fix,
but to be supportive.

To let go is not to judge,
but to allow another to be a human being.

To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes,
but to allow others to affect their destinies.

To let go is not to be protective,
it's to permit another to face reality.

To let go is not to deny,
but to accept.

To let go is not to nag, scold or argue,
but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.

To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires,
but to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it.

To let go is not to criticize or regulate anybody,
but to try to become what I dream I can be.

To let go is not to regret the past,
but to grow and live for the future.

To let go is to fear less and love more

Life is too short

Life is too short to wake up with regrets.
So love the people who treat you right.
Forget about the one's who don't.
Believe everything happens for a reason.
If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands.
If it changes your life, let it....
Nobody said life would be easy,
they just promised it would be worth it..

It makes me sad

You know what makes me sad.
People.
I get sad when I have friends who get hurt by what people who profess to be friends hurt them.I cant understand why people can not accept each other for who they are. Hell we are all flawed folks no one is better than the other person. Before you shit on some one maybe take a look at yourself in the mirror and see that you are not perfect and unflawed. I may not agree with everything you say or do but if I have let you in my life then I have agreed with my soul to respect you and your views. I still may have my own thoughts and opinions and I expect you to respect me and my views and opinions whether we agree or not. There are very few people I will turn my back on but those that are mean , vindictive and disrespectful do not deserve my friendship. I have walked away from a person like that who used me for what they could get out of me and then disrespected me and the friendship I had given them. Ya know what it hurts and I hate to see people I love hurt by others acting before they put their brains in gear and think things through or assuming. Like the old saying goes you know what assuming does it makes an ass out of u and me. If you are not sure about something instead of assuming ASK and be willing to LISTEN to what is being said. okay my rant
My friends are important to me and I hate seeing dissension happen and at times I want to take a big old stick and beat some sense into people.
Okay I am babbling here and letting my thoughts just ramble.

Good bye my friend

All my friends are gold to me.
Once in a while you meet one who becomes a real jewel.
Someone who has the special place in your heart.
Someone who shines above the others.
I have been so lucky in my life to have met a few of those jewels.
I lost one of those Jewels today.
Shirley (Lil Red) Harty.
I met Shirley at our pig roast she came as a date to one of our friends.
She became some one I loved.
Her joy of life and of the people she loved.
Her compassion and caring for everyone even when she was going through hell herself.
She was always there for a friend always strong and loving.
Her character was something to be admired and she touched every persons life who had the fortunate luck to meet her.
Shirley you are one of the diamonds in my life and the lives of many other.
You will always shine in our hearts and minds even though you are gone.
We love and miss your spirit and light.

I was impressed with the poem read at the 2010 olympics

We Are More

by Shane Koyczan

When defining Canada

you might list some statistics

you might mention our tallest building

or biggest lake

you might shake a tree in the fall

and call a red leaf Canada

you might rattle off some celebrities

might mention Buffy Sainte-Marie

might even mention the fact that we've got a few

Barenaked Ladies

or that we made these crazy things

like zippers

electric cars

and washing machines

when defining Canada

it seems the world's anthem has been

"been there done that"

and maybe that's where we used to be at

it's true

we've done and we've been

we've seen

all the great themes get swallowed up by the machine

and turned into theme parks

but when defining Canada

don't forget to mention that we have set sparks

we are not just fishing stories

about the one that got away

we do more than sit around and say "eh?"

and yes

we are the home of the Rocket and the Great One

who inspired little number nines

and little number ninety-nines

but we're more than just hockey and fishing lines

off of the rocky coast of the Maritimes

and some say what defines us

is something as simple as please and thank you

and as for you're welcome

well we say that too

but we are more

than genteel or civilized

we are an idea in the process

of being realized

we are young

we are cultures strung together

then woven into a tapestry

and the design

is what makes us more

than the sum total of our history

we are an experiment going right for a change

with influences that range from a to zed

and yes we say zed instead of zee

we are the colours of Chinatown and the coffee of Little Italy

we dream so big that there are those

who would call our ambition an industry

because we are more than sticky maple syrup and clean snow

we do more than grow wheat and brew beer

we are vineyards of good year after good year

we reforest what we clear

because we believe in generations beyond our own

knowing now that so many of us

have grown past what used to be

we can stand here today

filled with all the hope people have

when they say things like "someday"

someday we'll be great

someday we'll be this

or that

someday we'll be at a point

when someday was yesterday

and all of our aspirations will pay the way

for those who on that day

look towards tomorrow

and still they say someday

we will reach the goals we set

and we will get interest on our inspiration

because we are more than a nation of whale watchers and lumberjacks

more than backpacks and hiking trails

we are hammers and nails building bridges

towards those who are willing to walk across

we are the lost-and-found for all those who might find themselves at a loss

we are not the see-through gloss or glamour

of those who clamour for the failings of others

we are fathers brothers sisters and mothers

uncles and nephews aunts and nieces

we are cousins

we are found missing puzzle pieces

we are families with room at the table for newcomers

we are more than summers and winters

more than on and off seasons

we are the reasons people have for wanting to stay

because we are more than what we say or do

we live to get past what we go through

and learn who we are

we are students

students who study the studiousness of studying

so we know what as well as why

we don't have all the answers

but we try

and the effort is what makes us more

we don't all know what it is in life we're looking for

so keep exploring

go far and wide

or go inside but go deep

go deep

as if James Cameron was filming a sequel to The Abyss

and suddenly there was this location scout

trying to figure some way out

to get inside you

because you've been through hell and high water

and you went deep

keep exploring

because we are more

than a laundry list of things to do and places to see

we are more than hills to ski

or countryside ponds to skate

we are the abandoned hesitation of all those who can't wait

we are first-rate greasy-spoon diners and healthy-living cafes

a country that is all the ways you choose to live

a land that can give you variety

because we are choices

we are millions upon millions of voices shouting

"keep exploring... we are more"

we are the surprise the world has in store for you

it's true

Canada is the "what" in "what's new?"

so don't say "been there done that"

unless you've sat on the sidewalk

while chalk artists draw still lifes

on the concrete of a kid in the street

beatboxing to Neil Young for fun

don't say you've been there done that

unless you've been here doing it

let this country be your first-aid kit

for all the times you get sick of the same old same old

let us be the story told to your friends

and when that story ends

leave chapters for the next time you'll come back

next time pack for all the things

you didn't pack for the first time

but don't let your luggage define your travels

each life unravels differently

and experiences are what make up

the colours of our tapestry

we are the true north

strong and free

and what's more

is that we didn't just say it

we made it be.

-Shane Koyczan

okay i am better

Like I said it all takes time. I am coming to grips with Riley crossing the bridge I know it was his time and I know he was asking me to help him. Now for our buddy Craig well that still is a work in progress but I figure if he was so unhappy that death seemed the best way out that was his choice and we left behind will have to respect that choice. We can still look around the house and on our bodies and remember him and the strange little person he was.

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support,
To aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are..
They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
This person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.

Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons,
Things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.

Your job is to accept the lesson,
Love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant

Thank you for being a part of my life,
Whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.


I and I am sure everyone has had this even that bad reasons I am grateful for because I have learned and grown as a person to become who I am and who I am becoming. So thank you Craig for being in and touching our lives we have learned from you. I hope where every your spirit is now is finally happy and at peace.

Jan 1

Rest in Peace Sweet Boy


Okay I figured maybe this will help getting shit out of my head . The year ended on the negative. On the 28th I had to put down my sweet Riley who turned 12 in Oct. It killed me watching him go down hill health wise over Christmas. I know I did the right thing by helping him cross the Rainbow Bridge but it doesnt ease the pain only time will do that. Then last night we found out a friend of ours committed suicide , no one knows why we can only guess at this reasons. All I need to do is look at the tatts on my body or the pictures on our walls and remember him. I think the part that is frustrating is trying to wrap my head around WHY. I know that time is the answer to that too.

So the old year ends and the new year starts on those notes. Kind of sucks don't it?

I am trying to get myself into a positive frame of mind and that also is a work in progress, but on the up side I am so thankful for the friends I have who reach out and touch my heart with their support and love. I know I will get past all this crap and see things in a new light in Time the magic word it seems these days.

I wish for everyone a bright and happy future where we have time to get all the good things we deserve.